GRUMPIES ON BOARD
BY CAROL E WYER
Grumpies On Board
Genre: humour, non-fiction
Release Date: 21st May 2105
A "book it" list like no other, with humorous suggestions for extreme active ageing trips and why grumpies should not go snuffle trunting
Fancy a holiday with a difference? Then pack your bags and get ready for some extreme active ageing. Us 'older' folk are heading away from the traditional hotel holiday and at last, having fun!
This humorous guide, compiled by Mr and Mrs Grumpy, offers alternatives to the usual holiday—from sensible to outrageous—to suit every grumpy guts.
Learn about Arctic boot camps, ayurvedic retreats, drumming holidays, ice blokarting, motoring experiences, skijorking, tubing, Vespa excursions, voodoo trips and discover why Mr Grumpy will never go truffle hunting again.
With over 300 suggestions of how to get the best out of your vacation and live life to the maximum, this book aims to inspire and entertain.
Read it and put some choices on your "book it" list. After all, you only live once!
“An excellently researched insight into the world of the truly grumpy traveller. Youngsters beware..!” Nigel Vardy AKA Mr. Fostbite. Record breaking mountaineer, author and inspirational speaker.
ABOUT CAROL E WYER
Carol E. Wyer was born in Munster, Germany in 1960. She began her working life in Casablanca where she taught English and French in Language Schools and for companies. used to race around the streets on a clapped out VéloSoleX bike, avoiding donkeys. She changed career to become a fitness instructor in her forties and appeared in Zest magazine as a ‘success story’. No longer able to touch her toes with her hands, she has now become a full-time writer. Having written a series of educational yet amusing books for children, she turned her attention to the adult market in 2010 when her son flew from the nest.
Her first two novels Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines and Surfing in Stilettos won several awards for humour and much attention from the media. Since then, she has won the people’s Book Prize Award with Grumpy Old Menopause and has appeared on over fifty BBC radio stations, several international radio stations, Sky News, NBC television and BBC Breakfast television discussing age-related subjects such as ‘Irritable Male Syndrome’ and ‘Grumpy Old Menopause’. Her writing style has been described frequently by the media as 'witty' or 'humorous' and has even been compared to the acerbic wit of Jeremy Clarkson and the humour of Robin Williams.
Carol has written articles for and featured in several national women’s magazines including Take A Break, Choice, Woman’s Weekly and Woman's Own who also wrote about her journey to becoming a best-selling author.
Currently writing a series of novels and articles aimed at the ‘older’ woman and man, Carol is also engaged in writing by-line articles and posts for magazines and websites including Silver Travel Advisor and the Huffington Post.
Carol is also a regular Loud Mouth on BBC Radio Derby.
Last year, she took a crash course in stand-up comedy and is currently doing a comedy tour entitled Smile While You Still have Teeth to sell-out audiences, proving you’re never too old to try a new experience.
Safkhet Publishing: http://www.safkhetpublishing.com/admin/authors.html
Member of Romantic Novelists Association: http://www.romanticnovelistsassociation.org/index.php/about/author/carol_wyer
1st Prize – copy of the book (uk winner a signed paperback / non UK an ecopy)
2nd Prize – Grumpy old git / cow travel mug
Tell us about the inspiration for the Grumpies books.
Are you sitting comfortably?
Once upon a time there was a lonely housewife, facing a big birthday, whose husband had taken early retirement and was shattering her everyday peace by being at home all the time. No longer could she watch afternoon television in peace or go out to the shops without her husband joining her and preventing her from buying anything she fancied.
Life become intolerable. Not only was she going through “that” time of her life but her days were gloom-filled as her husband moped about the house, refusing to take up hobbies and wishing he were still young. He griped about the roads, potholes, the economy and failing stock markets, chuntered about their son and spent hours trying to hit the resident mole over the head with a spade. However, she was determined to get him interested in something and get him back out of the house so she could continue to laze about on the sofa on an afternoon, eating her bodyweight in Jaffa cakes and watching the afternoon soap operas.
Then she had a brainwave; she would hide from her husband, begin a blog and tell the world about her day-to-day life with the grumpy guts. He was, after all quite amusing when he ranted, his little red face all crumpled up in frustration, and surely there would be other women who would understand and empathise with her.
There were. In fact, within a few months thousands began to visit her blog and loved the stories about Hubby as he was then called. She used some of the stories and wrote a novel Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines about bored housewife, Amanda Wilson, whose husband Phil takes early retirement and drives her mad with his antics. To save her sanity, Amanda writes a blog and there are twists and turns along the way to surprise the reader.
She stayed up every night working into the early hours to complete her novel – Hubby knew nothing about it until it was published. It went down a storm. She appeared in Woman’s Own magazine as a best-selling author and emails flooded her inbox. There were thousands of women who connected with her character, Amanda, and who claimed to be married to Phil’s brother. Many wrote to seek advice on how to handle a retired man and how to survive being at home all day with him. It gave her some ideas for more books. These would be separate to her novels—they would be a series of amusing guides filled with jokes and advice on how to survive various aspects of ageing including: the menopause, (male and female), retirement and divorce.
Meanwhile, she continued her quest to cheer up her hubby now known as Mister Grumpy. She enrolled them both for golf lessons that ended in disaster when the grumpy one lost all his fluorescent balls in the lake. She signed them up to a gym but that led to an embarrassing situation meaning they could not return there. She searched the internet and discovered hundreds of hobbies and gradually week by week, presented him with a new challenge. He had a go at some of them. Others he flatly refused to try although why he wouldn’t go bungee jumping was a puzzle to her. The result was 700 ways to entertain a grumpy old man or as it is now called, How Not to Murder Your Grumpy. Sadly, 700 ways or not, none appealed to her grumpy old husband, so she started taking him away on holidays that would entertain him and offer him even more exciting opportunities and there, she succeeded.
The two of them travelled far and wide to some exotic destination and some less exotic. Each time, she ensured there was plenty for the Grumpy to enjoy. Eventually, after several years there was enough material to write a humorous guide for all who were looking for adventure and entertainment, or were stuck with a grumpy guts on holiday—Grumpies On Board.
So, my story has a happy ending. The lonely author is no longer lonely and spends many hours happily writing novels and articles, or socialising with her friends online, or being interviewed on radio and television shows. She still spends time hiding in her office from the old Grumpy though. You know the old adage “a Cheetah can’t change its spots”? It turns out an old Grumpy will always be an old Grumpy no matter how much you try to change him.
By the way, instead of watching television, the happy author now types all afternoon and eats her body weight in jelly sweets.